I am the first to admit that I am kind of Codependent, who am I kidding, I am a raging Codependent! For those of you not clear on what that means…basically, if the other person isn’t happy, I’m not happy. The official meaning from Wikipedia: Codependency often involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.
I know that I am Codependent so I am out of denial and that is the first step!! This week my daughter has her friends here. They met online ten years ago and have kept their friendship up all these years. Through the wonder of technology they are in constant contact with each other. One is from Canada, ( I will be writing the story of our airport trip soon) and the other is now living in Las Vegas. There is a third friend but she was unable to come but “may be” meeting up with us in L.A. The vagueness of plans is excruciating. There is never a solid, complete answer to any question.
The plan, and I use that term loosely, is to make a costume for the Canadian friend in the next few days, drive up to Los Angeles for a Comic Convention this coming weekend and maybe drop off the Vegas friend, or she may be taking the train, and that may be Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. Or we might be dropping her off somewhere between here and L.A. on Thursday….and maybe the third friend might drive to L.A. or maybe take the train to L.A. this weekend….. KMN!!! All I really know for sure is that I have reservations for a hotel for Thursday thru Sunday and my friend is coming with me. Whoever else can fit in the car is welcome to come. And I know that I am getting the Canadian to the airport on Sunday for an 11pm flight. I also know I am NOT driving to Vegas no matter what!!! I am not THAT codependent!!!!
Well, last night I hurt my knee. I went wild and crazy and knelt down on to the carpet to show how the fabric should be folded and something “went”. Not the same kind of “getting down” that I use to be able to do without injury. So now I am stuck in bed upstairs while the three of them are downstairs making a costume and all other related Cosplay accessories. So the joke is on me. I keep telling myself, “This is not my problem.” but it is driving me nuts. They are using all my stuff…I am really only scared about my sewing machines, all the other stuff is just stuff. I am watching shows on my laptop and reading blogs and doing some soul-searching. I am a control freak, I realize this also. I also know that I could do everything they are doing so much faster and better. However, that is not my lesson. My lesson is that I need to let go and let her grow. It is so hard. I want everything to be easy and perfect and that is a ridiculous goal. Life is hard and messy and so is my downstairs. It was so perfect when we came home from the airport….sigh.
So here I sit, pretty useless, out of control, and watching to see how this will all play out. My son has been recruited to drive them to Michaels and is not a happy camper. I will have to drive her to school because he was called in for a shift that will make it impossible to take her. But I will have him pick her up and get pizza for them all. My friend and I are planning on going a lot of places while the girls do their “Comic” convention. I have to stay still and heal. I am trying not to be pissed but I am not happy with my body right now. It seems to be betraying me a little bit at a time. Just when my shoulder was starting to feel better, a knee says “HELLO!!”. But I did swear that I wouldn’t make another costume after this summer, so maybe this is my body’s way of helping me keep my promise/threat!! The smartest one of us all is my husband. He flew out of town this morning at 6 am and won’t be back until we are leaving for Los Angeles on Thursday.